Are your friends entering new life stages?
Have you ever noticed that some of your adult friends are going through a change in their lives? Maybe they're getting married, having children, or buying a new home. You may think initially these changes won't affect your friendship—but they often times do. Even if you're not experiencing the same transition as one another, there's no reason why it should hurt your friendship. In fact, your friend's new life stage might be an opportunity for both of you to grow closer together.
When adult friends enter new life stages, it can change your relationship
Your friends may be at different stages in their lives. They may have different interests and priorities than they did when you were younger, or they may be settling down to raise a family while you're still looking for that special someone. You might find yourself spending less time together or just not having as much in common anymore—and that's OK! But if it feels like they're drifting away from you and losing touch with each other, try to make an effort to hang out every now and then in order to keep up the friendship.
Learn from the differences between you and your friend
- Be open to learning from each other.
- Don't judge each other's choices.
- You don't need to be the same for friends, or even for partners. You just have to accept each other as you are and love one another; difference and all!
Make a plan to connect regularly.
- Make a plan to connect regularly. This might mean weekly FaceTimes, monthly dinners, or maybe even biannual weekend getaways. Just don't fall into the trap where you only send memes and don't talk about your lives.
- Invite your friend to do something. Sometimes you have to be the one to reach out and get creative about what to do.
- Send a message! Use technology to stay in touch, but make sure you're connecting on a human level as well. Set reminders or use our app Reyla and we'll remember for you.
Find new things in common
If your friend who you always went out to bars with now has kids; you might not know what to do together anymore. In order to keep the friendship you need to find a new common ground. Try a new hobby together, invite them to a workout class, or start watching a show together. Give yourselves new things to talk about instead of spending all your time thinking of how the present is different from the past.
All friendships ebb and flow
When you're in your 20s, all of your friends are probably on the same page. You're all starting out in life, moving to new cities and early in careers. But as you get older, some of your friends will be married with kids and others will be making their way up the corporate ladder. Some might move away for work; others may just not have time for dinner parties anymore because they're taking care of their family.
As these things happen, it's natural that some friendships will fade—but don't take it personally! It's also important to recognize that friendships ebb and flow throughout our lives: some are going through similar experiences together (e.g., moving), while others aren't going through anything at all besides just being good friends who enjoy each other's company (and maybe even having an occasional drink).
The first thing to remember is that all friendships ebb and flow. When you’re going through a different stage in life than your friends, it can feel like they’re drifting away from you. But even if you don’t see each other as often or on the same terms, there are ways to keep the friendship alive. Hopefully these tips will help you stay in touch with your friends as they move into new stages of life.